Buying A Car

Today I am going out with my son to try to buy a car. I'm going along for the ride to keep my boy from getting his head knocked off by a salesman. Hopefully, my calm presence will prevent him from making a terrible mistake. Hey, there's a first time for everything.
I've tried in the past to assist all my children when the time came to buy a car. For the most part, they've ignored my advice and limited my assistance to providing cash.
I am not a meddlesome father. For the most part, my adult children conduct their lives the way they see fit, with the mixed results you'd expect from amateurs. When it comes to schools, work or the people they marry, I keep my nose out of their business. I stick to what I know and I know how to buy cars. I know how to buy cars because I used to sell cars and I know all the tricks the dealers use to pick your pockets.
Today, we'll start our search at CarMax, the home of "no haggle pricing." Whoever invented the idea of "no haggle pricing" was a marketing genius.
It certainly has a ring to it. "No haggle pricing" sounds so much more appealing than "Just pay what we say and go away." But that's really what they mean by "no haggle pricing."
Many people find haggling over the price of a vehicle distasteful. That's the beauty of the slogan. Car dealers spent decades trying very hard to make the buying process as distasteful as possible. At Carmax and other "no haggle" dealers, they will take the most distasteful part of the process out if you'll just agree to lay down and do what you're told. You'll wind up paying hundreds or thousands more than necessary, but you can avoid the hassel of negotiating with a salesman, his sales manager and the owner.
We're certainly going to test the "no haggle" slogan today. We'll begin by ascertaining how much his beat-up 1996 Honda van is worth. I wouldn't give you $100 for the wreck, but I'm expecting the folks at CarMax to pony up a couple of grand for it. They'll have to if this deal is going to work because he'll need that money for his down payment.
CarMax doesn't sell 15 year old wrecks like Will's Odessey. But that doesn't mean they won't buy it and send it off to auction. They won't make a dime on the sale, but that's really not the point. They'll make their money selling cars, not buying them. Many times, it works both ways for the dealer, but not in this case. They will likely be willing to take a loss on the trade if they'll make enough profit on the sale to justify it.
Today is likely just a test run. I don't expect to buy a car today. I want to do what the dealer does, build excitement and anticipation. But it's the salesman I want to build up, not Will. My job today is to keep him calm and collected so as to avoid a costly mistake.
The salesman wants to close the deal TODAY. He will have other customers to deal with tomorrow. He wants to get you and your dream car off the lot TODAY. Listen to his pitch and you'll hear that word frequently. Tomorrow is out theme today. Tomorrow, the price will be lower. Tomorrow, he'll need to make a sale more than today. Tomorrow, we win. Tomorrow it's going to rain. Tomorrow, no one else will be interested in that car he's trying to sell TODAY.
UPDATE: It turns out Car Max really means it when they say "no haggling" We never got past their $500 offer for Will's Odessey. Financing anything may be difficult for a kid with no credit history. I scouted out a few "Tote the Note" joints, but they don't have much to pick from. A lot of the lots were half-empty.
The Odessey continues...